Casey Once Said...

Sam's husband Casey once wrote me a birthday song with a line in it that said "go find a nice guy, make sure he's not gay", as that apparently happens to me a lot, illustrated by the following.

Jessica: And that would just be the story of my life.
Danielle: Yeah, it always happens that way. You like someone and they don't like you, or someone likes you and you don't like them...
Jessica: Yeah, the second has never happened to me.
Danielle: What? ... uh... that's kind of triste.
Jessica: I know, tell me about it. That's the story of my life. Actually, the story of my life would be if he were gay.
Danielle: Hasn't that already happened to you before?
Jessica: Yes, several times.
Danielle: Several?!?!?
Jessica: Yes. Five.
Danielle: You've liked five gay guys? How do you find these people?
Jessica: I don't know.