I Have a Twitter

I have a Twitter account.  I twit or tweet or whatever it's called rarely.  But I have one anyway.  And if you want to follow the weird things my roommate[s] say[s] then you should check it out.

https://twitter.com/AlwaysAWeirdOne

Basically, I believe that there's always one weird person that you live with.  And they always say dumb or inappropriate things.  And I think those things should be shared with the world.

Quiet Night off Work

 I feel like this is a good visual depiction of my life right now.  Tabs full of possible housing opportunities.  Neglected homework that I should be doing but I don't want to because I actually have a night off from work and I just want to sit with Gatey, my little old barely surviving laptop.  A long list of books I have on hold that I may never get to read because they're taking forever to get to me, along with the amount of fines I have due because I'd rather incur a fee than return a book I haven't gotten to yet because I don't want to be on the waiting list for a couple of months again.  Tabs for helping me plan the camping trip I'm going on next week with my three handicapped boys.  Terrified something is going to go wrong.  Or that I'll be on my period.  I'll probably wear a sports bra the whole time and not even care.  And braid my hair.  And sleep with one eye open. 


Here is the previously promised picture of me with the Gatorade bottle I urinated into when I was stuck in traffic and needed to pee REALLY BADLY.

Now, for some other things:

• Spring term is over!  I managed to get away with an A in Human Development and an A- in Statistics.  Felt good after so many semesters of not so great grades and barely hanging on.
• Summer term has started!  Microbiology is scaring me, mostly because I don't have the best track record in science classes.  But I supposedly can do hard things and this is a hard thing and maybe I can do it.
• I'm taking a pilates class.  It is awful.  Like you need to hold your legs straight up in the air at a ninety degree angle to your body and then actually move them like crunches in the air or something.  WHO HAS THE MUSCLES FOR THAT?!?!?  Not I.  But I do enjoy rolling around.  Especially this move called "Happy Baby."  I do not like the move called "Jack Knife."  In fact, I can't even get in the starting position for it. 
• On the first day that D moved into the boys' house I was up working on homework while all the boys were in their beds.  I had fifteen minutes before the grave staff came in.  D came down to get a drink of water because he couldn't sleep.  I was literally terrified that he was going to attack me.  He didn't.  He's actually pretty mild tempered, with a ton of ADHD energy that I try to have him run off.  Literally I take him to the park and make him run timed races with himself.  It's one of the only things I can think of doing.
• I'm really sick of the argument that marriage equality (aka same sex marriage being a thing) hurts families.  A of all, it's creating families.  B of all, making the claim that allowing members of the same sex to get married demeans a heterosexual marriage is a form of prejudice.  It's kind of saying that they're not as good as you and to allow them the same freedoms lessens who you are.  Why is that a thing?  I would prefer to say that a marriage where a man is controlling and abusive to his wife demeans the word marriage. 
• I'm really into labradoodles right now.  Which worries me because it's interfering with my dream of having a grey great dane named Henry.  
• So... I'm trying this thing on my next menstrual cycle called soft cups... Just putting that out there because I can't keep it to myself.  I reason it's good for the environment.
• People keep telling me that it looks like I've lost weight.  I think that they just haven't seen me in a long enough period of time that in their memories I'm bigger than I am.  I'm still living off of a mostly fast food diet, although I've branched out to include Wendy's.  They have the best berry almond chicken salad.  Which is why I know that it must just be in their heads.
• I'm not in love with anyone right now.  Or in like.
• I really want to go to Oxnard the weekend of August 10th!  Camille and George welcomed Maya into their family and I want to meet her and see Camille, George and Noah.  And I want to see Hayley's apartment in LA and meet her dog Belle!  And I want to spend time with her before Fetus Shelby comes into the world.  And when was the last time I saw Boyd?  Is he still alive?  Annnd!  My sophomore English teacher is in this band called Far From Kansas.  When I was in high school Sam and I would go to his shows.  He was the most inspirational teacher I had and I was really upset when he switched schools the year after I had him.  BUT his band is breaking up and their last show will be on August 10th.  Even cooler, Sam is now in the band.  Isn't the awesome?  So you bet I want to be at that show hanging out with August Rose while Sam rocks it on stage.  August is 6 now.  Isn't that crazy?  Anyway, I want to go.
• I've been feeling kind of pathetic and lonely recently.  Friend wise.  I see Marie most days (although with her family in town that has decreased significantly) and every week or two I see Blake.  Every month or so I see Rochelle.  And besides that... I hang out with three handicapped boys who drive me crazy upon occasion and my staff members who may very well secretly hate me.  I'm really missing my friend group and I didn't know it would be this bad.  MegP's in Nebraska and Annette is in Salt Lake and even Levi is in Oregon and Ariel is in Florida.  And all my local friends (MegN, Selina... are there any others?  Do I have friends?  I seriously don't even remember.  I still have Ashley.  I saw her the other day, even.) have very active lives of their own with work or school or vacations or family time or other obligations... and this is hard.  I can't remember ever feeling so friendless.  And because I've had the same friends for so long I don't really know how to make new ones.  Do I even like people?  I thought I could make friends with this girl in my nutrition class, but today we had a group project to work on and she is kind of annoying and a know it all, which is weird because I had to find a way to subtly let her know she was wrong several times.  Because I'm not yet to the point where I can just tell people that they're wrong.  But maybe I'm getting there.  
• Until I make more friends I have books and TV.  Some shows I'm watching:  The Goodwin Games, Switched at Birth, The Killing, MasterChef, the Bachelorette... although several of those I'm just now starting half way through the season.  Quick!  Don't tell me who's still on the Bachelorette!  I can't decide if I like that character Ben or not.  
• I'm afraid that I don't actually like quality literature but have started to only be fascinated by mysteries.  Which make me think of Mary Higgins Clark or Sue Grafton or someone else that is maybe considered to be a joke of a writer.  Like anyone who is on the New York Time's Best Sellers list just because of their name.

 Can we just enjoy how awkward this FFK music video is?  I want you to see it though because you can kind of get a little taste of Oxnard from it.  But listen to the one below it because I like the song a lot more.

Home Teaching

I usually dread home teaching.  I think it's really awkward that some strange man asks me if he can come over to my house with his friend and they show up late at night (because it's the only time I'm free) and they're wearing suits and being formal and asking personal questions about my life but not really caring about the answer.

But I've had some really awesome home teachers in the past.  Those men became my friends and made me laugh and made me feel more comfortable at ward activities and at church on Sundays. 

My new home teacher has been trying to set up a visit for awhile, but he's gone out of town or I've been slammed with work and it doesn't work out.  But tonight was the night that he was going to come.  Originally we were going to meet at 10 when I got off work, but I had someone cover my shift and told him he could come as early as 9.  His companion was out of town and at nine he got out of a movie with his fiance.  So... he asked if he could bring her as his companion. 

I was like, "meh, better not.  It's awkward."  But instead I told him he could. 

It was literally the best home teaching visit I have ever had.

The entire time I could feel and see their love for each other.  I felt like they were genuinely caring about who I was and wanted to get to know me.  And I felt so much love in my heart for them.  They're getting married in three weeks.  When he asked me what he could do for me I asked him not to get married so he could continue being my home teacher.  He and his fiance both said that even after they get married if I ever needed anything they would be there.  And it wasn't fake at all.  I genuinely felt their love and kindness and knew that they meant it.  There were several times during their hour long visit that I just wanted to cry because I loved them so much.  They are two of the nicest people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting.  And while I've never striven to be very spiritual, tonight I wanted what they had.  And after a long and dark time of not really desiring the Gospel, I wanted it. 

I saw Christ in their countenances.  Through their kindness and love and general goodness.  And I want to be like that.  And still be me.