Person 1: Sabrina

For a brief time in my life I lived in Arizona. When I moved back to Oxnard I returned to the Oxnard 4th ward. I walked into my Sunday school class to find Sabrina. I remembered her from elementary school, and now here she was in my church class. Some missionaries had found her family and she had been baptized. Sabrina and I quickly became friends. She was strong, lovely and faithful. She loved the gospel more than anyone else I had ever met my own age.

Into high school we became best friends. I spent almost ever summer day at her house. We went to the mall, we baked, we swam, we took pictures, we went to the beach and we had more sleep overs than I'd ever had with anyone. One summer we would spend our free time down at the beach. Sabrina had discovered this awesome rock on the coast. See, Hueneme beach is lined with rocks on one side. This particular rock (we're really talking boulders here) jutted away from the other rocks over the waves. It was the perfect shape for a person to lay or sit on, kind of like a seat in a van. We would spend whole afternoons or weekends on these rocks reading library books. Sabrina would go there to watch the sun rise and to read scriptures.

As high school proceeded, she decided to move to Oklahoma to be with her dad. She would still come visit every year or so. Her first visit home we went to Borders together and sat in some armchairs next to the magazine rack scouring wedding magazines. We chatted away, while pointing at our favorite dresses, invitations, flowers, etc. At one point I pointed to a dress and said how much I loved it, but that I wouldn't be able to wear it if I got married in the temple. Sabrina got really serious, and asked me if I'd still love her if she didn't get married in the temple. I said of course. Then she told me that she didn't believe the church was true anymore.

It secretly crushed me. Sabrina had been my religious role model. She had more faith than I had ever had, and here she was telling me that she didn't think it was true anymore. I used to sit there and think that it should have been me instead. I should have been the one to fall. She had been the one with all the faith.

Now, Sabrina lives a very different lifestyle than I do. I haven't talked to her in over a year. But what I do remember was her talking of being a bisexual, heavy on the lesbian, having crazy piercings and tattoos, attending sex parties, drinking all the time, getting involved in drugs and just overall not being happy. I think about how, not necessarily unfair it is, but how unfortunate it is. She had great potential. She has shaped me to know how easy it is to lose something important. She taught me just how lucky I am. She taught me that my Heavenly Father, for some reason unknown to me, as shielded me and protected me in ways that I might not necessarily deserve. In my own way I still love Sabrina, as the mother still loves her wayward son. But I just don't know if we'll ever be friends again. I regret this, as if I should have clung to her anyway, but it was just too hard for me. Someday I hope to have as much faith as that 11 year old girl did when I first met her.

P.S. Memorable Sabrina moment... at seminary one day she told me that she was bringing her friend Megan the next day. Megan and I became great friends, but at that time I was jealous of their friendship and hated her. When I complained that I didn't want her to come, Sabrina lovingly asked me, "don't you think that everyone should have an opportunity to hear the gospel?".