Things My Mother Did/Said

I figure that a post about the entire weekend in depth would frustrate me more than I need. Instead, here is a quick list of things that happened with my mother.

1. I heard her tell the story about how she was evicted from the Marriott like 20 times in the course of 48 hours.
2. She argued with me about my liberal views. When she asked me why I had leaned to the slightly more liberal side of moderate I told her it was because I think that we need to help each other out more, and people like my mom, who have worked every day of their life are barely making ends meet and need more help, and should have access to quality, affordable health care. She argued that we shouldn't take money from the rich for it. Hello, Mom! This is something you would benefit from, as you won't shut up about your health issues, and you've paid into the system enough that you deserve to get something back from it!
3. Right after telling me she didn't want to argue about my political views anymore I told her to tell Jake and Indy to sleep in separate beds. Her response was that they fall asleep together all the time and she totally trusts them.
4. She all but told me that I was a liberal prude (FYI: I'm socially conservative and liberal about other things, making me a moderate independent).
5. She didn't ask me a single question about myself or my current life.
6. I made them dinner so they could meet Boyd and Hayley. Jacob complained that I should have left the mushrooms out because I know that he doesn't like them. Newsflash: I do. And I made it. When I told him he could just be grateful that he got free dinner my mom told me to stop it. Jacob can complain about me doing something nice, but I can't say anything back.
7. As soon as she got to my apartment she never let my laptop out of sight. The second she fell asleep for a nap I stole it to check my email, do homework and apply for a job. She woke up and was like, "do you really need that right now?" When I said I did she asked if she could use Marie's. I told her I was sure that Marie wouldn't mind, but she password protects it (I know the password).
8. She wasn't interested at all in meeting the people I especially invited over to meet her: Boyd, Hayley and Skyler. MegN spent quite a bit of time over while she was here and she didn't care. To me, you hear about these people all the time, you know they're a big part of my life, and you don't want to get to know them? Something's wrong with that, especially because they had mentioned in the past that they wanted to meet my mom.
9. To Boyd and Hayley she said that she was glad there was someone around who wasn't afraid to tell me when I was out of line.
10. Skyler asked her what I liked to do when I was a child... that was weird. She replied that I liked to "threaten and intimidate... but you must already know that."
11. Other things she said was that I liked to gang up on my older brother because he's not as smart as I am, I manipulate people, I terrified her by making her think that I would never be feminine, that I refused to step into a kitchen, and that I said inappropriate things all the time.
12. She gave an example of my inappropriateness: one time while my friends were over I asked my older brother if a girl should shave "down there". My mom responded with, "it depends if he wants hair in his mouth or not." And somehow, I am the largely inappropriate example in the story.
13. She got a haircut right before coming up. She mentioned that her friend had chopped part of it funny, but it was alright because hair grows back. I told her that I really like my hair right now and she proceeded to tell me that when I cut it she cried, because I had such beautiful hair. When I told her that it was all nasty and dead before and now it was all healthy looking, she replied with "you had such beautiful hair," totally disregarding my new cut. I could tell that she hates my hair. I, for the record, hate it.
14. She told me that she likes it when I come to visit because I clean the house. I clean the house because I can't walk into the kitchen without vomiting. There are mold problems and the last time I went, there was caked on diarrhea in one of the toilets.
15. I started to clean the kitchen with her standing by me and I told her that it was a little too dirty for my liking. She replied with, "yeah, it is dirty." See above.
16. She watched me load the dishwasher and scrub the counters while she ate. When she was done she put her bowl in the sink, knowing full well that the dishes in the dishwasher were dirty and not running. She did this while talking about how my brothers don't do the dishes and she would have a spotless home if it wasn't for them.
17. She yelled at me about my dad.
18. She talked on the phone or to Jake and Indy most of the time I was there.
19. She had 48 hours with me and spent them paying no attention to me whatsoever.
20. She complained the entire time about everything and told anyone who would listen that I wasn't a good upstanding person.
21. My mother will always care about prospective boyfriends more than she will care about me, a feeling I've had for years and felt confirmed about when she spent all the time I was around texting/talking to or about men she's met online/spending time on online singles sites.

Love. At. Home.

I'm not going home for Christmas.