It's my Mom's Birthday

It's my mom's birthday. She's 45.

A. All she wants for her birthday is a clean house. I don't care. There's no effing way I'm cleaning up this disgusting house. I'm pretty sure in the last week I've cleaned more than anyone else in this place. And I don't even live here. So no, I will not clean up their urine stains on the toilets or wipe the light fixtures of the dirt that has been on them for over two years.

B. I was going to make her dinner, and have a nice little party with cake and presents. But then Carlos came into town. Carlos was my mom's first boyfriend. He asked her out on her sixteenth birthday. He was 24. He surprised her yesterday. They went for a drive. They were out for 5 hours. They kissed. I want to barf. She's not a teenager anymore. Now she's going to dinner with Carlos.

That just leaves me with this filthy house that she wants cleaned. It's not going to happen. Instead, I'm going to have RDPS with Sam. No, Jake is not invited.