Trust

So today in Sacrament meeting the bishop's wife went on FOREVER. And it was about a whole spectrum of stuff, too. Quite random, really. Anyway, she mentioned that in the "relationships" class she had people write down reasons they have issues with relationships. She said a great majority had answered "trust". It got me thinking about my own life. I realize that I have issues with trust.

It's not really an issue of trusting other people, per se, but more trusting myself and trusting that good things can happen to me. I think that in the last couple of years I've had a lot of things go in an unfavorable direction for me, and now I have issues trusting that it could be different.

I often use the phrase "story of my life" whenever something bad happens to me. When I think about it, I realize that I have never used that phrase for something good. Usually when something good happens I call it a fluke. I think I've come to expect hurt and disappointment instead of hoping for a positive outcome. Like right now I feel like I'm on the verge of having two things that I really want: a research job with Cornwall and membership in Humor U. Yet with both things I sit there and think "why even try? You're just going to be rejected and hurt in the end". But with those expectations how can anything good really happen to me?

I think it might be time to start trusting that the Lord loves me and will let good things happen to me.