Birth

I am happy to follow up my last blog post with another extreme on the spectrum. Tonight I witnessed the birth of a baby.

7 or so months ago my friend Ashley announced the news of her pregnancy to me--by giving me an invitation to be in the hospital room when she birthed her baby. When we were in high school I was surprised to hear her say that she would love for me to deliver her babies. "Ashley! You want me to see your vagina? I would not let you clean my teeth (she was a dental assistant)!" I would now let her look at my teeth and do whatever else she would want to do, obviously.

I was kind of skeptical going into it. I kept waiting for the moment when she would call or send me a text explaining that she had decided to keep it to just her mom and Doug. I even tried to give her an out yesterday. Heaven knows I wouldn't want anyone looking at me... down there... But she did not retract the offer. So tonight, as soon as my bookbinding instructor wrapped up our lesson, I bolted out of class and into Ariel's car. Luckily for me, Ariel had been to the hospital before and knew the correct way to enter for Labor and Delivery. I ran through the rain and crazily found the elevator to take me to the fifth floor. I had to use this weird phone and give a secret code in order to be allowed into the maternity ward.

I entered Ashley's room and fortunately for all involved, she had been given an epidural (who needs to put up with the anguish that comes without one?). She seemed to be in absolutely no pain. I had fully expected to sit quietly in the corner watching her yell at Doug like I imagine all women in labor do. After all, I was to be an observant guest, as I've wanted to be an OB/GYN for 6 years and have never seen a live birth. But instead I had an active conversation with Ashley, Doug and Ashley's mom. It was like we were sitting in a living room reacquainting ourselves.

The nurse came to check Ashley and I looked away. She wasn't in the middle of pushing and I wanted to protect her modesty for as long as possible. When the nurse was done Ashley asked me something about it. She didn't seem to have a problem with it at all. After the initial shock that I was there, physically able to see a part of my friend that I had never imagined seeing, it was just another body part. I didn't feel uncomfortable or like I was staring. I just felt like I was watching, learning and experiencing.

I figure Ashley will be writing all about the actual birth story. So, I'm going to skip the details about how long pushing went on for and what it felt like (like I have any idea). Instead, I'd like to focus on a few other things.

You have not seen a strong woman until you see a woman in labor. While Ashley made it look like cake (not even a joke), after awhile you could see the toll it was taking on her. But she never once gave up or said she couldn't do it. She refused cold towels, water and ice chips. She was getting that baby out and she was doing it that night. She was determined and focused. She was a champ. Women are strong champions. In that moment, watching Ashley, I have never been more proud of being a woman. Also, side note, at the end of everything, Ashley was still as beautiful as she was when she came in. There wasn't a hair out of place and it did not look like she had been sweating at all. This is not an exaggeration. What a woman.

Next, I've always imagined that birth was a woman's thing that men kind of stood by and watched. But I swear, Doug was just as emotional as Ashley was. And while I was too numb to cheer her on, Doug never quit. When they were checking up on Matix Doug stood near the foot of Ashley's bed staring at him feet away in awe. It was almost like he couldn't believe that his baby was right there. And once Ashley had Matix in her arms, Doug was right there the whole time. At first he seemed too scared or nervous to touch him. But then the three of them were in this little bubble together that no one else could touch. They were a family.

Lastly, birth is amazing. Did you know that a sperm cell is the smallest cell, and an egg cell the largest cell in the human body? And isn't it amazing that they have a small window of time where they can combine and divide into many, many more cells, eventually creating a human being? Isn't it amazing that a woman's body can react to hormones to prepare for birth by thinning the cervix and the cartilage between the pubic bones in order for the baby to leave the uterus? Isn't it amazing that with so many things that can go wrong so many babies are born perfectly healthy every day? Births are special. They bring people together and link generations to each other.

Tonight was a fulfilled dream. And I learned so much more than what it looks like for a baby to exit its mother.

Dear Ashley,

Thanks so much for letting me be there! You have no idea how great that was for me. Good luck recovering and getting to know Matix! Congratulations!

Jessica