Freshmen.

Freshman: I have a package here.
Me: Do you have a slip?
Freshman: No, but I have my ID card.
Me: I need your slip to find your package.
Freshman: What if I have my mail key?
Me: Then you should go check your mailbox for the package slip.
Freshman: I have the slip, it's in my room.
Me: Then you should go get it.
Freshman: But that's so far away!
Me: At any one time we have over a hundred packages. Your slip tells me where it is. I need the slip to find it.
Freshman: Can't you just go find it?
Me: No. But you're welcome to come back at dinner and get it.
Freshman: Fine. I'll see you sometime tonight, or tomorrow, or the day after tomorrow...
Me: Okay, see you then.

Freshman: This was in my mailbox (hands me a package slip).
Me: Uh... is it you?
Freshman: Yes.
Me: Oh, okay, can I see your ID?
I get the package.
Freshman: Sorry it took me so long to pick it up.
Me: It's ok, it got here yesterday.
Freshman awkwardly walks away leaving me to believe that BYU should conduct interviews before they let people in to check for socially abnormalities.

Stupid RA that has lived here for 6 months: What time does the Creamery open today?
Me: It doesn't. It's Sunday.
Stupid RA: So it doesn't open at all?
Me: No. It's Sunday.