Blow to the Ego.

On July 11, 2009 Dave Emery broke up with me. It was my first relationship, my first breakup, my first big regret, and the thing that has single handedly taught me the most.

On July 11, 2010 I sat outside the Tanner Building with Hayley talking, when Dave walked by. "Don't you have anything better to do than to spend all your time at Helaman? Don't you ever GO AWAY?"

On July 17, 2010 Rowena told me a little story that goes like this:

In the beginning of July Dave and his girlfriend Karly, whom he dated twice before, once before we met, broke up. This is around when he met Karly's good friend, Becca.

On July 4th, 2010 Dave and Becca started dating.

On July 6th, 2010 they got engaged.

First of all: What the eff? Who would say yes to someone after two days?

Second of all: I don't understand. I don't understand how Dave is getting married and how I have yet to have a boyfriend since him. How is it that everyone who knew the two of us thought that he got lucky with me, yet since we've dated good things have happened for him and nothing has happened for me? I don't understand how someone as abnormal as Dave is getting married and I'm not! It's terrible, I know! But... why does no one want me? Don't get me wrong, I am more than grateful that I am not the one Dave is marrying, but I still don't understand why I do not get to take part in the blessing of marriage when all those around me do. I think that I'm a good person. I'm funny and interesting and smart and cultured. I have my faults: I'm quick tempered, easily frustrated, jealous and spiteful. But when I love people I really love them. And I can be nice and kind and trusting and open. And I don't understand why there isn't a single man who wants me in his life. And Dave getting engaged just frustrates the feelings more. Dave can get married. And I cannot.

So while I think that this is outrageous and laughable, I feel like it's being rubbed in even more. Like, "Hey Jessica, remember how you got invited to a dozen or so weddings this summer? That weird guy you dated is getting married, too! When was the last time you had a second date again?" And when everyone else in the world is trying to get me to set people up with someone I know, no one ever sits there and thinks, "wow, this guy I know should really go on a date with Jessica." And it's not that I would like to be set up, but it's the fact that for some reason, I, Jessica Rae Callahan, am undateable.